top of page


How To Have A Robust Mental Health - Part 2

How to Live well mentally and physically...

We cannot control what happens to us in our lives, the experiences and events in our lives that happen to us. We can't control what other people do, we can't control how our life pans out, we can't even control the weather! All we can control is how we respond to the life experiences that we face, the circumstances and the external situations.

It's how we deal with them when they happen, we each have a choice what we do and how we act and behave in certain situations and what we do and how we feel about things.

There will always be things to worry about or fear, but it's our choice how we deal with the situations that we face. We all have a choice to see the situation for what it is, accept that there are things that we have no control over, all we can do is to be ourselves, to be balanced in our knowing of who we are, what we are doing each day to help ourselves and to live our lives to the best of our ability and to make the most of everyday. This is all that we can do. We need to manage our expectations, for us all to value ourselves enough to be able to look after our everyday needs and to accept what is.

That is all that we can do. We need to focus more on what we can do, instead of what we can't do and to avoid the fear, doubt, worry, anxiety and pain when it is unnecessary.

As a qualified mental health practitioner and a holistic life coach, I help people to grow and to become more acquainted within themselves and to improve the quality of their lives, or to improve their performance by talking through problematic situations.

I help people to set and achieve goals, improve their relationships, improve personal effectiveness. By helping to direct a person along a path leading from their present state to their desired state. To what it is that they want or need more of in life.

I have found that these 6 ways, which I believe are the nuts and bolts that we need to know and that we all need to follow, that allow us all to live well mentally and physically and to have a healthy robust mental health: (Grab yourself a pen and a piece of paper and be ready to ask yourself some questions truthfully and honestly to yourself, so that you can transform your life to how you want it to be. Let's get started...) These are the last 3 ways that can help you to have a robust mental health, If you have missed the first 3 ways that I mentioned in my previous blog post in October? Please check out the first 3 ways here... Lets continue to...

4. To Be Consistent

Success doesn't come from what you do occasionally, it comes from what you do consistently. Being consistent in what you want to achieve, its about consistently showing up each day to get things done, make things happen, to get up when you say that you are going to get up, it's about being mindful of the things that you do on a day to day basis. It also means that you are clear on what you want to accomplish and that you are taking the necessary steps to reach it, no matter what it takes.

Like it or not, being consistent is essential if you want to make a significant change in your life. It's about how you live your life? how you act and behave? What you set out to do each day? And what you do consistently over and over again to get something done.

It's a commitment that you make to yourself and to others and keeping your word to carry out what you've agreed to do. It also reflects your values and your standards as a person.

Your doing what's required right now to achieve a better outcome for yourself.

Being consistent is a great habit to have for a healthy robust mental health. If you struggle with keeping a plan together, such as eating well, exercising, looking after yourself and your daily responsibilities, setting time for your working life and home life. It can become a struggle and can massively effect the way that you feel.

As a mental health practitioner and life coach, I have found that people who struggle with consistency often have these character traits:

  • Have a lack of patience

  • Lack clarity and focus

  • Lack discipline and dedication

  • Have an "all or nothing" mindset

That is why having a plan, an idea of where you are heading towards, especially if you wish to achieve something. Because without consistency you are more likely to fail and get stuck again and again, until you get up, make a plan - What is it that you want and why do you want it? and then stick with it day in and day out until you get what it is that you want to achieve...

Ask yourself these questions honestly and truthfully:

Q. Are you ok in making a decision and to actually take some steps to make things happen each and everyday and to stick with them to see them through?

Q. How will you know that you are making progress?

Q. What is the first thing that you must do today to be able to move forward in your life?

Ways to Help you to Become More Consistent in life:

  • Make sure that you schedule your priorities each day, when you are trying to make something consistent in your life, you really want to build you whole life around it, rather than trying to fit it in. So you need to schedule it in to be successful.

  • If we are struggling to be consistent, it's also really important that we ignore and override that inner voice that says " I don't want to do it" I don't want to do anything!"' I can't be bothered!" We have to say, no this is what we need to do, especially if we want something, this is the only way that we will get it, by being consistent with ourselves and what we do each day. We have to change the way that we think , otherwise we will spend our days doing nothing, sitting on the sofa binging on Netflix series, and nothing will change in our life.

  • Start with one thing that you want to achieve, don't do too much to start with. Create specific and realistic goals that you want to achieve. Create easy, simple steps with specific measurable results. Do you need to be consistent about your exercise habits? Do you want to be more productive and reliable in your work?

You will already know what is important for you, and make sure that you are living that life to the best of your abilities.

We then become grounded and disciplined in our life. Where you can make wise decisions for yourself and in your life.

2. To be Mature

What it takes to transform your life is to take full responsibility for everything in your life, what you do, how you look after yourself, how you conduct yourself in a day-to-day capacity, the role that you take in your life is your responsibility and no one else's.

What you feed yourself, how you take care of yourself and your health and wellbeing, what you choose to watch and consume through social media and TV, how much sleep you get, when you get up and when you go to bed, how much work you do or don't do, and how you conduct yourself in front of others on a day to day basis.

It also takes decisiveness, commitment, hard work, dedication, self-control, discipline, integrity, patience, perseverance, transparency and authenticity. It's only when we start to develop ourselves in these areas, that we become more responsible and empowered, that we begin to see results.

What Does Being Mature Mean?

Maturity doesn't mean age, it means what you do, how you conduct yourself consistently on a day to day basis. Its also how you choose to respond and react to various life situations. It is an essential step in mental development and wisdom that has a bearing on all areas of your life, such as how you conduct yourself in relationships with others, in business and life in general.

Here are some ways to knowing if you are mature in your way of being:

  • You meet deadlines, you get things done that need doing at specific times either on or before deadlines no matter what happens.

  • You take care of your day to day responsibilities that need doing, rather than putting things off for another day.

  • You honour your commitments and promises- when you say "yes" to something or someone, instead of backing away from it. You give your 100% to that commitment and show up on time.

  • You're open minded and aware that we don't know everything and that we don't get everything correct and can listen to other peoples ideas without bias and prejudice.

  • You have a stable and grounded personality that isn't rattled by other peoples opinions and judgements.

  • You're more patient and you adapt to life changes, as you know that change is inevitable and that life brings with it, new people, new situations, challenges and sees them for what they are and makes conscious efforts to adapt to the changes that are happening. Which helps you to learn and grow and to take a step further in life.

  • How you plan your life and make decisions is key.

You are responsible for your life, what you eat and don't eat, your emotions, your outcomes, the results and consequences that you get in your life. We cannot blame anyone else for anything regarding our life in any way. No one else is at fault, but our own.

We need to fully accept this and to work with what we already have to make our life productive and more conducive, than what we may have right now. Its only us that can change the way that we live, the way that we think, how we talk to ourselves each day - with our self-talk, and how we manage our time, our emotions and our feelings.

This is what being mature is all about. We all have the power and the opportunity to create, grow and have what we want, we just have to go out there and do it, achieve what it is that we set out to do, to take the steps that are needed to make change and a difference in our life.

This is key to having a healthy and robust mental health and wellbeing for us now and for us in the future.

This is what I do as a mental health practitioner. I am here to help people to practically grow and mature. I also share insights, lessons, encouragement, patients, unconditional acceptance, kindness and generosity. By seeing where you are at, as we will all walk down this same road at some point in our life and by listening, responding to understand, being available, open, non judgemental and unconditionally accepting of you and where you are at.

I also help them to solve their own problems, creatively seeking solutions. Remember that problems are opportunities for growth or to learn, develop and improve with new strategies and to overcome problems.

You get to choose if you really want to grow and change, or if you want to stay the same.

We have all that we need to create our life, no one else can do it for us, their is only laziness and not wanting to do it for ourselves or wanting it enough.

We all have to accept that their are just things we can only do and that we have to do to maintain a healthy and balanced, grounded life.

This allows us to feel empowered, we have the power to change and to achieve the life that we wish to have. But we have to take the steps to get there.

And taking personal responsibility for everything in your life is a mature way of being that is needed to achieve results in our lives. There is no getting away from this...

We can change and we have the opportunity to grow, as soon as our desire to change becomes greater than our desire to remain the same.

3. To Be In Strength And Determination

Strength and determination is our ability within to try our best to keep on doing something, even if it is very challenging to do. Both of these qualities we have within us, and they are both needed if we want to achieve something in our life.

We have to be determined to do something that we want, we first have to decide on what it is that we want, and to then stick with the decision that we have made and to see it through to the end. We need to feel determined to do it, no matter what happens. We will get it done.

Motivation and determination is the driving force that inspires us to move forward in life, whether that's a physical conquest, a mental obstacle to overcome, a habit or lifestyle choice we want to change, a personal relationship or a Professional ambition that motivates us to change, to become better at managing life.

Determination drives the decision making process and gives you the extra push that motivates you to work hard to reach that goal that you have...

And with our inner strength we can create it, we can take the steps that are needed and to see it through...

We need to first know our "Why?" what is it that is motivating us to achieve what we want to have and to keep going every day, what is our reason?

We need to have a strong enough why to do something, as this will help us to know what to do next.

We also need to let go of our fears and apprehensions, we have to be brave and face our fears, step up and take control. To increase our strength in what we do, we have to manage our stresses better, deal with situations as they arise and take the steps necessary to complete what we set out to do.

We sometimes have to put our head down and work as hard as we can. It really is amazing what you can achieve when you put your mind to it and invest well in your time and energy.

It's really important to have a vision for your future, and to make a decision on who you want to actually grow to become. What is it that you actually want? We need to really sit down and decide on how we wish to live our life, how we can overcome our fears, visualise how we wish to see our life, to let go of trying to be perfect in the process. It's about really listening to our heart, head and our gut to find out what it is that we really want?

We all have the capacity to grow and the potential to grow as much or as little as we wish to.

Remember that we can change and we have the opportunity to grow, as soon as our desire to change becomes greater than our desire to remain the same. It's just up to us to make a decision and to see it through.

Please ask yourself these questions with truthfulness and honesty: (Journal these questions and really think about them and your answer to each one)

Q. What are you working towards?

Q. What is the goal?

Q. Why do you want, what it is that you want to achieve, and have in your life?

Q. What's important to you?

Q. What do you want to change?

Q. What would you actually be willing to work towards instead?

Being self-aware of what it is that you want, is intricately linked to being determined.

By being aware of your strengths, weaknesses, needs and desires and goals, will help you to set new goals to help you get motivated to achieve them.

I help people as a mental health practitioner, to help others to focus on goals that inspire them, and that they actually do want. As well as the outcomes that they want to see in any area of their life. This will then help to bring order and structure into their life.

It's asking - what is your head saying, what is your heart saying and what is your gut saying? and going with that...

I am also here to offer positivity, useful perspectives and a little bit of guidance to help people to get back on track with their life and their visions for their life.

When someone doesn't have any positively framed goals, they have a tendency to focus on what they think, how they feel, what they believe and they're experiences they are having now in their current state.

And it's how you feel in life is often the main problem - their feelings, often we don't like the way we feel, especially if it's negative and painful, we can often feel overwhelmed by how we feel and the emotions that can come up from this feeling/s that we have.

Often we will feel like we are stuck in a rut, depressed, anxious, sad, crushed or feel frustrated.

The work that I do is to facilitate space in helping people towards what they do want in life, what they want more of, what they ideally want to have? And to find out what triggers them to feel how they feel and the emotional state that they are in.

As a Professional helper, Achologist Practitioner - which is applied psychology - is to help people to grow and to become more acquainted within themselves, and to improve the quality of their lives, or to improve their performance by talking through problematic situations. To help people to set and achieve goals, improve relationships, improve effectiveness (personal). And by helping to direct a person along a path leading from their present state to their desired state. To what it is that they want or need more of in life.

To Be Continued...

If you would like to share your comments to the questions that I asked in this blog post, please do share your thoughts and if any of the questions helped you to see things from a different perspective or help you to re-clarify your wishes and goals for the future?

I would love to hear your experiences and if this post was helpful to you in any way.

Please Like and share with anyone you think might want to find more clarity or understanding.

And if you feel the need at any point to reach out to me to get the help and guidance that you might need, to help you to move forward and to find some more peace, calm and contentment? Please don't hesitate to get in touch with me. My email address is I look forward to connecting with you.

Best Wishes to you as always and I look forward to sharing some more helpful ways that can help you to have a healthy and robust mental health in my next blog post...


Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page